Hi and thanks for stopping by! Since it’s Thanksgiving week, I’ve been thinking a lot about food. I don’t know about you, but I love Thanksgiving dinner. Turkey, gravy, stuffing, pumpkin pie, and whatever else my mom makes. (Except broccoli, of course.) Just thinking about the holiday is making my mouth water…though turkey doesn’t quite beat hot dogs or spaghetti and meatballs. When it comes to our big Thanksgiving meal, I do my best not to overdo it on the main course. (Though, it’s mostly so that I save room for dessert.) As my mom says, “You can go back for seconds, but you can’t give back your firsts.” In other words, I try to make sure my eyes match my stomach.
The story I want to share with you today is sort of food-focused, but it’s also about a phrase called “guilt by association.”
Last week, I was tested in a surprising way. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time. I got accused of something I didn’t do. The life lesson I learned is this: if you’ve done something wrong, own up to it; but if you’re blamed for something that isn’t your fault, consider how you can sort out an unfair situation (or whether it makes more sense to let something go). Have courage and patience because, in most cases, the truth will eventually be known.
Here’s what happened…
Lunchtime rush
For those careful readers who remember all my blogs, you may recall a few months back, I wrote about hanging around a friend-of-a-friend who behaved badly. This blog is a different take on the “when friends behave badly” angle. Trust me, it’s worth the read.
As I’ve learned over my thirteen-ish years, kids don’t behave well all the time. I know I haven’t. But hopefully, whatever I’ve done isn’t anything too far off the “what’s appropriate” scale.
This past week, I had a big science project due on Friday. I wanted my project to come out perfectly. Well, as close to perfectly as possible. I asked Mrs. M science teacher if I could take some extra time and finish up the project. Thankfully, Mrs. M let me work on the project during my lunch period. Once I put the final touches on my assignment, I still had a few minutes left before lunch ended. Thank goodness, because I was starving.
I rushed to the cafeteria, grabbed a sandwich, and sat down with my friends to eat. It would have to be quick.
With little time to spare and an empty stomach, I just wanted to eat my lunch as fast as I could.
In other words, I was too food-focused to pay attention to anything else. 
Stirring the pot
If your school is like mine (or was like mine for any grown-ups reading this!), the cafeteria is pretty noisy. Even though people who are eating shouldn’t talk with their mouths full, there’s always screaming and shouting going on.
Because I was so food-focused, I didn’t notice that some of the kids around me were misbehaving. I didn’t see Tommy throwing away a cup of water, but missing the garbage can completely. Instead, Tommy’s cup hit my friend Pete’s leg, splashing water all over him.
I also didn’t realize what was going on with Joey and Jason, who were sitting at the end of my table. Those two can sometimes be funny, but also kind of mischievous. At lunch that day, they were definitely sitting on the mischievous side of the fence. From what I heard, Joey and Jason were trying to throw blueberries into each other’s mouths. They clearly weren’t very good at their game because the blueberries ended up all over the place.
Thanks to being so food-focused, I missed all of this “excitement.”
However, during the next period, a bunch of kids from lunch—including me—got a message that we needed to go to the principal’s office the next morning. In her message, the principal said the purpose of the meeting was to discuss “the incidents from lunch.”
Wait, what? Did my sandwich complain about my chewing? Otherwise, I’m pretty sure I wasn’t involved in any incidents.
No need to “ketchup”
Why was I being called into the principal’s office? I had barely been at lunch. I had no idea why I was included in the message. Being food-focused didn’t seem like it was breaking the rules.
Just in case, I thought back to what I had done at lunch for the few minutes I was there.
Did I accidentally cut someone in line at the sandwich bar? Did I forget to throw away my napkin? Did I take too much fruit salad? I’m pretty sure the answer to all those questions was “no.” Though, if I’m being honest, the raspberries were extra good, and I took a few generous spoonfuls. But not that much extra!
If I had done something wrong, I would’ve owned up to it. But eating a sandwich quickly is not against the rules. (Although my digestive system might’ve disagreed.)
I decided I’d write the principal a note explaining that she was mistaken by including me in the meeting. Surely that would clear things up and she’d see the light.
Well, I hoped that’s what would happen.
“Roll”y-poly
In my message, I told the principal that I’d been working on my science project and that I’d gone to lunch late. My science teacher and the lunch monitors could both confirm this.
I told her that with only a few minutes left of lunchtime, I was completely food-focused (though I really said “I was just eating my sandwich”). I didn’t have time to misbehave. Plus, I didn’t notice anyone misbehaving. I ended the message by asking the principal—in a nice way—to kindly un-invite me to her meeting. After all, I hadn’t done anything wrong so there was no point in having me attend. I thought that would be enough to get me excused.
Turns out, the principal still wanted me at the meeting. She said she’d like me to come and “share my observations.”
My observations of what? How did I like my sandwich? My thoughts on rolls versus bread? What I’d like added to the salad bar? Ugh!
I was steaming mad.
Waste not, want not
I was still worked up about things at dinner time. I didn’t want my parents to think that I’d done anything wrong. Once I’d shared my side of the story with them, the good news was that they believed me.
“You know how I feel about wasted food, Noodle. I know you would never throw blueberries—or any food—for that matter.” My mother was right. I wasn’t a person who wasted food. And the only time I spilled things was by accident.
My big sister Jill weighed in too. “If I were you, I wouldn’t say a word at the meeting. If you talk a lot, you’re going to sound guilty.”
“Or,” my father interrupted, “You could be silent and listen to what everyone who was actually involved says. When you’re asked, you can be honest and tell the principal what you saw.”
“So, say nothing then say ‘nothing?’ Because I saw nothing.” My parents agreed though I’m not completely sure they got what I said. There wasn’t much more to say after that.
I was just going to have to wait and see how things went.
The truth’s been told
Well, the meeting turned out to be a huge nothing burger for me, as they say.
The principal said, “Noodle, I know you weren’t involved, but I was hoping you could help shed some light on anything you saw happening around you.” I kept things simple and told her I had nothing to add because I hadn’t been paying attention. I was going to say “I was too food-focused to notice what was going on around me,” but that seemed too hard to explain.
While it was too bad that I got stuck going to the meeting, at least the truth came out. In the end, the misbehaving kids had to stay inside for recess.
But this whole super annoying experience taught me a valuable lesson. And no, it’s not that you should never miss part of lunch so you can put in extra work on an assignment. (You should definitely try to do your best work!) It’s that even though I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, it didn’t take much effort to make the facts clear.
Even though my friends and I can be silly—especially at lunchtime and recess—we’re generally pretty good kids.
Maybe if I were someone who misbehaved a lot, perhaps the principal wouldn’t have been so quick to let me off the hook. So, I was glad that I stood up for myself and shared my side of the story.
And one more thing…if I’m ever given a choice between blueberries or cookies, I’ll always choose cookies. But no matter what, it’s definitely a shame to waste either of them.
Until next time, be your best you.
Do you have any stories about learning an important lesson from an experience? Please share them with me in the comments section!
