Hi, and thanks for stopping by! Our school year is now back in full swing. While I’m not thrilled to have homework again, I am happy to be back with all the friends I hadn’t seen over the summer. Well, not quite. You see, with a new school year, we get new teachers, but we also get new class assignments. And I’m not with any of my best friends in my new classes. None. Zero. Zilch. When I got back from camp, I had such high hopes for eighth grade. It’s my last year of middle school after all. But the first few days of school completely ruined my spirits.
Sure, I have study hall and lunch with a few of my old pals, but I don’t have the same schedule every day. None of my best friends are in my core classes—like English, Math, Social Studies, or Science—where you see each other regularly for that particular subject. My mom and dad say there’s a life lesson in here, which I’m only just starting to believe: being in different classes doesn’t mean the friendship is over; it just means you have the opportunity to widen your social circle. Being able to change your tune when it comes to expanding your friend group—or any other challenges in life—opens the door to building confidence and resilience.
Here’s what happened…
Gift of gab
I have my theories, but I think the biggest reason why I wasn’t placed with my best friends is that perhaps we were too friendly last year. As in, we got along so well that all we wanted to do was talk. Basically, our friendship created a distraction to ourselves…and probably others. I know that a few—ok, all—of my teachers didn’t appreciate the side conversations my friends Tracy, Jeffrey, and I had. I’ll admit that we had to have our seats moved away from each other because of the talking.
And fine. We were warned about keeping the chatter to a minimum. On more than one occasion. Perhaps I should’ve changed my tune earlier. At the end of last year, my English teacher, Ms. S, said that, while my grades didn’t seem to suffer from all the socializing, it did have an impact on some of my friend’s marks. I’m not going to lie; it was kind of hard to focus on both the teacher and the chit-chat. And I definitely created some extra work just trying to keep up in the classes particularly the ones that I didn’t enjoy as much.
So, for those of you who think that teachers don’t see everything, I’ve come to realize that maybe they actually do. And they, for sure, can see when students are distracted. Especially by side conversations.
Magnetic personalities
I wish my friends and I had learned to zip our lips a little better. If we had, we’d probably be in the same classes this year. Or at least a class together.
But, my parents weren’t wrong about the expanding-my-friendship-circle part. After complaining to Jeffrey and Tracy that I had no friends in any of my core classes, I realized that I did know a few people. Take Katie, for example. She and I were in first grade together. After that, we were never in the same class again. I remember that Katie really liked making friendship bracelets and playing with the Magna-Tiles. She seemed perfectly nice back when we were kids. I’m sure we were friendly with each other. But when you’re a little kid and don’t see someone on a regular basis, people can fall off your radar screen. I guess that’s why I didn’t think much about Katie since then.
I knew I’d need to change my tune and make some new friends. Otherwise, school would be an absolute nightmare. Looking around my Social Studies classroom one day, I recognized Katie sitting a few rows over. She looked more grown up since first grade. It definitely would’ve been a little strange if she still looked six instead of thirteen!
When she saw me glancing in her direction, Katie smiled. I guess she recognized me too. Thank goodness she smiled otherwise I would’ve been completely embarrassed. I took that as a sign.
On the same page
When class was over, I caught up with Katie.
“Weren’t you and I in first grade together? You used to like Magna-Tiles if I remember correctly.”
“Yeah, it’s been a while. I don’t play with Magna-Tiles anymore. Well, except when I’m babysitting. Do you still go by ‘Noodle’?” Katie asked. I nodded.
“I guess some things stay the same. Like my name and my hair.” I pointed to my still-curly hair. “I think we’re in Math class together too. This year kind of stinks. I’m not with any of last year’s friends.” I made a sad face. I was surprised when Katie nodded and mirrored my frown.
“Same! Classes totally blow this year. It’s like all my friends were put on a completely different schedule.” Katie shook her head in annoyance. Looks like we both needed to change our tunes. After a moment, she shrugged. “Well, at least we’re together.” And that was that. I knew I had a new friend. Although technically, I guess Katie is a new old friend.
The best part was even though we hadn’t talked for years, we easily picked up wherever it was we left off. Sort of like the “line” and “circle” friends I wrote about a loooong time ago in an earlier blog. Remember that gem?
All ears
I learned that Katie traded Magna-Tiles for dance. Since my sport is soccer, we don’t exactly have the same interests. But Katie is nice and easy to talk to, and that’s what matters. Katie told me all about the dance competitions she goes to on the weekends. It’s kind of like my soccer tournaments, but for dancing. She’s even promised to teach me some dance moves, which I could really use. While I’m coordinated on the soccer field, I’m a whole other person on the dance floor. And not in a good way.
I’ll admit that Katie is different from my old crew of friends in that she’s a bit quieter. She pays close attention to the teachers and hardly ever has side conversations with anyone. For now. Ha ha. Getting more focused this school year is a good thing for me to change my tune on.
I’ve never paid as much attention to my teachers as I do now. I bet my grades will be even better this year; that’ll be important going into high school next year. I’m sure no one will complain about excellent marks!
Keeping it real
I’ll be honest, friendships are a lot easier to maintain when your friends are right there with you in your classes. Before, I could just lean over and tell Tracy or Jeffrey whatever was on my mind. Had I changed my tune earlier, I could have waited until a more appropriate time to talk like during a break or after class. Twenty-twenty hindsight, I guess.
Now, Tracy, Jeffrey and I must work a little harder to stay in touch with each other. It’s not impossible, and hopefully we’ll keep making the effort.
I guess the silver lining of us not being together is that we’ve each made some new friends. If we’re lucky, our new friends will like our old friends. And then, maybe we can form a super friend group.
I already know Tracy and Katie will probably want to have a dance-off. Jeffrey will probably want to run in the other direction. Then again, so will I. But who knows, maybe I’ll learn a new thing or two. I guess a little change in life can be good.
Until next time, be your best you.
Do you have any stories about learning an important lesson from an experience? Please share them with me in the comments section!
