Hello there! Thanks for stopping by. I can’t believe we’re almost at the end of the summer. If you could see me now, you’d know that I’m crying. (Haha – just kidding!)
There are still a few more weeks left before school starts again. In addition to finishing up my summer homework packet, I’ve been spending lots of time with my friends. I’m finally old enough that my parents feel comfortable letting me hang out alone my pals (as long as they know where I am, who I’m with…and what time they’re picking me up).
I recently had an experience that taught me an important lesson about friendship and appropriate behavior. You may remember from my Field Trip Fail blog from earlier this year where I learned about the consequences of my bad judgment. Turns out, there’s another variation to this life lesson.
Just last week, I learned about the challenges of when someone you’re with has not-so-great behavior. Which brings me to this blog’s life lesson: if you hang around with people who aren’t acting appropriately, you can still get blamed for it. Even if you weren’t the one doing anything wrong. That’s why it’s important to make smart choices when it comes to the people with whom you associate. As you probably know already, friendships are never easy. Especially when it comes to “friend-of-a-friend” drama.
Let me tell you what happened…
The belle of the mall
I love hanging out at the mall with my friends. There are lots of neat stores to browse through. Plus, sometimes you can run into other kids you know by chance. It can be quite the social scene.
The other day, I was hanging out with my friend Tracey. (Remember her from my Red Shorts blog?)
You may recall that Tracey is one of my coolest, stylish friends. In addition to always dressing sharp, Tracey also looks sharp. As in, she is allowed to wear a small amount of makeup. Personally, I don’t want to wear makeup yet. First off, I don’t feel like taking the time to put makeup on every day. (I like my extra ten minutes of snoozing!) Also, makeup often comes off when you eat or sweat, so to me, it seems like a waste of time to wear it. (As a sports nut, I am always running around.) Maybe I’ll change my mind someday.
For now, I’m fine being “bare-faced” as my big sister, Jill, calls it. Originally, I thought Jill was calling me a “bear” face. We almost got into a huge fight over that. But then Jill spelled out what she was saying. We had a good laugh at that one. Crisis averted!
Anyway, Tracey wanted to go into her favorite makeup store. She was looking for a new back-to-school lipstick. While at the store, we ran into Mara, one of Tracey’s friends from her summer basketball league. Mara seemed friendly and fun. At first.
As a joke, Mara sprayed some perfume on herself. Then she pretended to faint because the perfume was so strong. Tracey and I laughed at her silliness. Mara seemed to take our laughter as an invitation to go one step further.
So, Mara took some cologne and sprayed it on Tracey. Several times. Not cool! Tracey laughed it off. But I didn’t think it was that funny.
Mara then tried to spray a different scent on me. Luckily, I ran away before the perfume touched me. All the spraying left a mishmash of floral, musk, and citrus scents around us. Blech!
Tracey wisely suggested that we move on after Mara stunk up the perfume area. That was the first whiff I got of some impending friend-of-a-friend drama.
Little did I know that Mara’s behavior was about to stink even more.
Zip your lip
Tracey decided she wanted to check out the lipstick aisle. The store sure had a lot of different colors and brands. I got bored and started looking in another part of the store.
The next thing I knew, Tracey ran over to me.
“Mara almost broke a lipstick!” Uh-oh. The friend-of-a-friend drama meter just went up a notch.
Tracey tried to downplay what had happened. “Mara was joking around again. This time, she pretended to put on this really ugly lipstick color. I think salesperson saw her and got annoyed. That’s when I ran away.” Tracey looked concerned but not too concerned. Maybe she was used to Mara’s behavior? I wasn’t. I certainly didn’t want friend-of-a-friend drama to get me in trouble.
A few seconds later, Mara came up behind us and poked Tracey in the back.
“That was a close call,” Mara said with a mischievous giggle. I certainly did not need to have any close calls in the mall.
Even worse, I could see the salesperson was now eying the three of us.
A sticky situation
Before I could whisper to Tracey that we should leave, Mara said, “Let’s check out the hand lotions.” She grabbed Tracey’s arm and pulled Tracey along.
I didn’t know what else to do, so I followed them. This friend-of-a-friend drama was starting to make me feel a little uncomfortable.
In the hand lotion aisle, Mara squirted a bunch of different sample products into her hand. “Oil slick!” Mara shouted and slapped Tracey’s arm with her lotion-y hand.
“Ewww!” Tracey screamed as she jerked her arm away. A glob of lotion landed on the floor.
Unfortunately for us, Tracey’s shouting attracted the salesperson who must’ve been watching us.
“Can I help you ladies with anything?” the salesperson asked in a sweet but suspicious voice. I hoped she didn’t see the glob of lotion on the floor. I was planning to wipe up the mess with some tissues I’d spotted on the counter.
“No thanks. We’re just browsing.” Mara smiled innocently. The salesperson didn’t seem convinced. She gave us one more look before she walked away. I quickly grabbed a few tissues and wiped up the lotion.
Cleaning up someone else’s mess was not how I planned to spend my time at the mall.
Asking for trouble
As soon as the salesperson left, Mara said “Phew, that was a close one.” She grabbed a huge handful of tissues—way more than she needed—and pretended to wipe her brow. The salesperson hurried back over to us.
“I think you girls should leave before I call the manager over. It looks like you’ve caused enough trouble in our store.” If I could’ve crawled under the make-up counter, I would’ve. This friend-of-a-friend drama was getting out of hand.
“What? We were just browsing,” Mara said. Why was she saying anything? I glanced over at Tracey, who looked at me helplessly. We were both uncomfortable with Mara’s behavior.
The salesperson wasn’t buying the line Mara was trying to sell. “I’ve watched you since you came into the store. You’ve sprayed a ton of perfume, played with the lipsticks, and now made a mess with the hand lotion. If you want to keep going, I can ensure that the three of you aren’t allowed back in the store for a long time.”
I wish the salesperson had realized that Tracey and I hadn’t done anything wrong. Or knew that I had met Mara for the first time like twenty minutes ago. But at that point, I don’t think the salesperson cared.
I’d had enough of the friend-of-a-friend drama. Apparently, Tracey did too.
Smell you later
“No need to do anything,” Tracey said. “We were just leaving.” Tracey grabbed my arm and we hurried out of the store.
“Toodles,” Mara shouted as she followed us out. “Wow! That was something, huh? So, what do you want to do next?”
Thank goodness Tracey was a quick thinker.
“My dad is picking us up soon, so we have to go find him,” Tracey said. “See you at basketball practice.” Tracey and I waved goodbye to Mara, then quickly headed off in the opposite direction.
“It seems Mara behaves better on the court than off,” Tracey remarked.
“Yeah, I’d totally give her a foul for today.” That made Tracey laugh.
I was glad it was time to leave, and even more glad that we didn’t get into trouble. I’d had enough friend-of-a-friend drama for one day.
“Makeup” your mind
Here’s the thing I learned about friendship: While it’s fun to spend time with friends, it’s just as important to spend your time with people who make you feel good. When a friendship causes you negative feelings like stress, embarrassment, guilt, etc., that might be a sign that the friendship isn’t the right fit. Especially if you don’t feel comfortable sharing your concerns with them.
In my case, I wouldn’t exactly consider Mara a friend. And from the short amount of time I’d spent with her, I’m not sure I would even want to become Mara’s friend. But I’m glad Tracey and I saw the same thing and could talk about it. She’s definitely a friend that I want to have in my court. (Sorry for all the basketball jokes today!)
And if I ever change my mind about wearing makeup, I think I’ll just ask Jill to go shopping with me.
Until next time, be your best you.
Do you have any stories about learning an important lesson from an experience? Please share them with me in the comments section!
