miscommunicamp by steph katzovi header 02

Lessons to Live By: A “Bed” Situation

Hi and welcome back. Welcome back to me, too, actually. I just got home from sleepaway camp. What a summer it’s been. I have so many stories to share. We’ll have to see which of my stories “make the cut” for Steph Katzovi’s next book. Since you might not be able to wait until then, I wanted to share a story about a lesson I learned at camp.

Because my big sister Jill was too busy being a “sit” —aka C.I.T. or Counselor-in-Training—at camp, I had to handle a tough situation on my own. The life lesson I learned is about speaking up for yourself if there’s something you need or want (or don’t want).

Instead of crying or whining about what’s bothering you (like I might’ve done when I was little), I learned you have to say your feelings out loud as directly—but politely—as possible to whomever you’re having an issue with.

Here’s my story…

    

Not bunk-y dory

After my parents dropped me off, I immediately ran up to my cabin. This summer, I was in the Starlings bunk. I couldn’t wait to see my friends and set up my things. When I got to the cabin, it was kind of empty. My old friend Eleanor was the only one there.

“Everyone went to visit the Loons across the way,” she told me, looking up from her book about flowers. (The Loons was the neighboring bunk from us. In case you haven’t noticed, all of the bunks at Camp Hillside are named after birds).

I was certain that my bunkmates would be back soon. That meant I should get my things set up right away. Making my bed is always my first step in getting settled.  I looked around the cabin for a bottom bunk. The only problem was that I couldn’t find any open bottom bunks.

I was kind of surprised because Val (remember her from Miscommunicamp!?) took everyone’s bunk requests earlier in the year before camp started. I saw my mom submit my request for the bottom bunk. So, I was pretty sure I was getting one. The camp always tells you if your bunk request can’t be met. “Sorry we can’t accommodate you” was what they told Jill the one year she got stuck with an upper bunk. (Her words, not mine).

As I looked around for my bunk assignment, I saw my name card halfway stuck in the top bunk. Below my bed, was a perfectly made bottom bunk with pink sheets. That didn’t seem right. I knew my best friend, Aries, who was supposed to be my bunk mate would never have pink sheets.

None of this added up. My first thought was that maybe someone didn’t want to be on the top bunk. So that “bunk bed thief” switched the name assignments on the beds.

The wrong side of the bed

If I had to guess, I’d say it was Sara Elizabeth. Sara Elizabeth famously said last summer that “she wants what she wants and makes no excuses.” She’s a little bit particular in her ways, but she’s also kind of funny once you get to know her. (Once we’d all become friends last year, we teased Sara Elizabeth about her fussiness.)

So, what was I going to do?  I couldn’t just throw Sara Elizabeth’s, aka the bunk bed thief’s, things on the floor. That wouldn’t be nice.

I looked around, hoping maybe my counselor had come in. She could help sort things out. Nope. Still just Eleanor.

I was trying not to jump to any conclusions. But it sure was hard.

Instead, I imagined what my mom, who is a teacher, would do. She knows how to be direct with people, but in a calm way. The only problem was that the more I thought about the bunk assignments, the more upset I got. Surely this was a mix-up.

How could I nicely say, “Who on earth changed the bunk assignments and took my bed??”

I decided the most mature thing to do was wait until Sara Elizabeth turned up. Then I would speak to her politely about what happened.

Holding down the fort

Instead of making my bed (whichever one it was), I organized my shower caddy. I looked through my trunk so that I would know where everything was. This didn’t take long because I’d helped my mom with packing. (My mom did, however, sneak in a surprise note and a deck of cards. She’s very thoughtful that way.)

Thankfully, it was only a few minutes before a bunch of the girls came back from visiting the Loons.

Sara Elizabeth, my suspected bunk bed thief, was among them. Aries, on the other hand, was not. She was probably visiting her theater friends.

I would have to do something, otherwise I would probably be stuck on the top bunk forever. Well, at least for the entire four weeks I would be at camp. But it would be a long four weeks.

Putting your cards on the table

After Sara Elizabeth gave me a big hug and an air kiss hello, I decided I’d have to speak up or suck it up. I chose to speak up.

“It is so great to see you again, Sara Elizabeth! I love that incredibly large-brimmed hat you’ve got there.” (I figured I’d butter her up first.)

“Thanks, Noodle. I refuse to get sunburned this summer. So, I’m taking all necessary precautions.”

“Say, Sara Elizabeth, do you happen to know which bunk is mine?” I said it as sweetly as possible. “I thought Aries and I would be together, and I had asked for a bottom bunk.”

“Hmmm, I have no idea.” It seemed Sara Elizabeth wasn’t going to give an inch here. Well, neither was I.

“Did you happen to put my name on the top bunk with you?” Sara Elizabeth looked surprised. Was she faking surprise? I couldn’t tell. For a second, I considered telling her she should try out for the camp play. Pretending or not, I wasn’t going to let that bunk bed thief get away with taking my bed.

I stared at Sara Elizabeth for a  few long seconds. She nervously straightened her sheets.

After a moment she said, “Oh. You know what? I saw a piece of paper on the floor and just stuck it wherever. I didn’t realize it was your name. I just put it above my bed because I couldn’t find the garbage.”

Bunk bed thief busted!

Case clothed

I wanted to pump my fist in the air and shout “bunk bed thief busted,” but I’m glad I didn’t. Just as I was about to say something perhaps not-so-nice, Aries walked in. After she hugged me, Aries pointed to the bunks right next to Sara Elizabeth’s bed.

“Our bunks are over here, Noodle. I took the top, but I didn’t finish unpacking. Sorry I left my stuff on your bed.”

As I looked closer, I noticed that the bottom bunk hadn’t already been made up. What looked like a poorly made bed was actually a big pile of dark clothes.

Phew. I guess Sara Elizabeth wasn’t the bunk bed thief after all. Aries’ messy clothes were.

While I did jump to an incorrect conclusion, I’m glad that I spoke up about something that bothered me. And I did it in a nice way. (Though, thank goodness Aries came back when she did.)

Lettuce end on a happy note

The almost bunk bed thief experience taught me an important lesson. I could either be miserable or angry (or both), or I could address what was bothering me.

The lesson I learned was that if something bothers you, say something. More often than not, you have the power to change the situation when you don’t stay silent.

I tested out this approach on our way home from camp. When my family stopped at a restaurant, I couldn’t find what I really wanted on the menu (thin-crust pizza). Because I was hungry and tired, I figured I’d just get a Caesar salad. That was my go-to lunch at camp. After the waitress took our order, I noticed a sign that said they had a barbecued chicken wings special. I kind of wanted the chicken wings instead. But the waitress had already taken our order.  Was I stuck with the Caesar salad that I no longer wanted?

As luck would have it, the waitress came back to bring us straws. I asked if it was too late to change my order. Turns out it wasn’t.

Not only did I have a delicious (and messy!) lunch, but I also tested out my theory of “speak up or suck it up.” Trust me, when you do it well, it works. Even if it means getting barbeque sauce all over your hands and face.

Until next time, be your best you.

Do you have any stories about learning an important lesson from an experience? Please share them with me in the comments section

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